Withdrawal

I can't force people to act or behave the way I want them to

last week, I tried

things went in the opposite direction

I think what I learned from all this is that there will always be something I want to change

whether it's two peoples relationships

whether it's someone's attitude

or whether it's someone's mind

Earlier today I made Suci piss in her pants. All I did was close the gate halfway, sort of threatening I'd lock her outside. Immediately it brought her back to that place and feeling she had when her papa locked her in a room for five whole minutes. Suci, traumatized by being left isolated in the dark, couldn't stop pissing all over herself.

I hated being the person to bring her back to that.

I can't force little girls to take off their shoes and come back into the house, and I can't force people to stop being or doing things I can't stand. In the end, I only end up regretting.